generally speaking, bridges scare me.
not as much as bees, but about as much as heights.
it’s quite a shame because i love bridges, they are beautiful!!
i don’t particularly like walking, or driving, or being on them. but i very much like looking at them.
i left my apartment in brooklyn this morning and headed over to manhattan, with big plans for a day of holiday shopping in soho, walking and exploring by foot. and walk i did. all day!
as i walked the busy streets, looking up toward the sky in true pseudo-tourist fashion, i let my mind take it’s own path. feet moving forward, mind wandering….it needed to wander, and so did i.
tomorrow, exactly one year ago, marks the day that i had two bags packed, eyes sparkling with excitement and was moving to france. our flight left on december 11th. i can hardly believe that one year later i’m sitting here talking to you from a tiny sublet apartment in brooklyn. embarking on yet another new adventure.
how our lives can change, or how we can be our own change agents…and all so fast.
how i have re-lived that uncomfortable, unnerving unwelcome feeling of being lost.
but i find change necessary in order to move forward in what we do and who i am. and i have learned to deal with it…so now it just doesn’t sting as much. nonetheless stressful.
my knees were a little weak as i stepped out onto this famous bridge today, my mind raced and soared alongside the bitter wind zipping my hair into a flurry, i was in awe.
i walked alone, directly down the middle of the bridge. i didn’t look down.
i hardly even noticed all of the other people…..i just walked, slowly towards this massive amazing structure
there is something about this bridge. that could just be me being cheesy. or perhaps it was a combination of things, maybe how i felt today and all the things racing around in my head? i may have had too much to think about, conversations re-playing back, worries surfacing……
but i didn’t feel sad, or worried, or anything. i felt happy. i think the wind up there sucked a few layers of that and took it far away!
well, we all know i’m not the first person to walk this bridge, look in awe at it’s sheer presence…..but i do know that it meant something to me. and it could be all in the timing, but i needed that walk across the bridge today.
and when i got home, set my shopping bags down, i also set my feet down and smiled. i had a great day, everything’s going to be okay.